Bats

When I was a little I had a lot of fears that felt like dark places in light spaces creeping within; like the shadows at night, that chilled my stomach when they passed through me. My heartbeat would hammer as I tried to control my own breath so the shadows couldn't find me. I would always panic, seeing stars, certain that I would die if I wasn’t able to remember that I was in charge of my breath. So I learned early to tilt back my chin and give my throat to fear’s hand early. Fear taught me to surrender to wills that weren’t mine with minds that were twisted in upon themselves. To reshape my spine, bowing to settle into spaces that were too small and eschew my own knowledge of self. Even then I was certain many things could hurt me, I also knew that only I could bring upon my own demise. So I lived a life of permissive postures and self-abusive tangents. The clairvoyance of children is not to be ignored. I know that now and I endeavor to listen to my children close enough to detect the future roadblocks they are projecting their fears upon like sonar. It is my purpose tear down as many of those obstacles and to offer all of me to absorb the low hanging vibrations as a conduit of grace and knowing and cast them down into the earth. It is a parent's duty to protect the delicate scaffolding of childhood, one so easily broken and manipulated.